Hey dolls
TGIF, I am so glad the weekend is here! This week flew by for some reason. Maybe because I left the house more than normal. I have to admit that I don’t leave the house as much as I should. Having a toddler is really stressful for me and probably most other mothers. It takes forever to get out of the house. When you do finally get out the door, things don’t always go as planned. Melt down about getting into the car seat. Followed by screaming in the store. With my anxiety it is really hard for me to deal with Charlotte having a melt down in the middle of a store or wherever we may be. I remember being in stores before I had a child and it would get on my nerves hearing kids scream. Now having a crazy toddler of my own, I obviously understand what those parents were going through. It is so embarrassing to have the kid that is screaming because you wouldn’t let them touch the lotion in Target. So with that, most of our days are spent at home together. I mean, we play together all day but that gets old…fast. And it is obviously boring for both of us day in and day out. I know she needs more interaction with the outside world and so do I. I have been trying to make more of an effort to get us both out of the house, or have Samantha and her kids over to play.
I finally went to the doctor a few weeks ago and was prescribed something for my depression and anxiety. My stress level was so high all the time, so I figured it was time to do something about it. The doctor prescribed me three different medications before we landed on one I like. Wellbutrin is like the only depression/anxiety medication that doesn’t cause weight gain. The first medication she gave me made me super sleepy and not myself so I exed that out after a week or two. The second she gave me I never even tried. I got home and started reading all the reviews. Almost every review I read stated the person had gained weight from using it. So, the next day I called the doctor and point blank asked for Wellbutrin. I took it for a short time in high school and hadn’t had any trouble with it then. Also, one of my friends has been on it for a while with no complaints. It’s been a few weeks now and I am starting to feel a little better. I have had a lot more energy than before. Minus that fact that I’ve gained 15 lbs since I stopped breastfeeding in February! I started gaining weight right after I stopped. It is crazy how fast it happened.
My weight has always been a stressful thing for me. When my clothes do not fit right I have a serious anxiety attack. This probably comes from always reading fashion magazines and watching fabulous people on reality TV. But none the less my weight has gotten out of control. I have not been this big since I was sick a few years back. While breastfeeding, I was eating anything and everything I wanted to and still losing weight! I am talking pasta, fast food, sweets, you name it I was eating it all day everyday. I got down to a size six, almost a four again by doing nothing but breastfeeding. I haven’t worked out in years. I mean, before I was pregnant I would go to the gym here and there but nothing like I did in my late teens and early 20s. Those first few years of my 20s I was managing a gym and dating a personal trainer who worked out two, sometimes three times a day. I wasn’t that crazy but I did work out almost everyday. It was so easy for me then. I worked in a gym so I was already there 24/7. After I left that job, I still kept my membership but as I got busier with my new job I went less and less. Then I turned 21 and all hell broke loose. If I wasn’t already unhealthy before, now I was going out partying and drinking all the time. Not good for your weight as a woman. It takes us twice as long to work off a vodka and redbull. Since I turned 21 and now being almost 27, (geeeez) my weight has bounced from 115 all the way up to 165 when I was sick. When I had Charlotte I was 198. Yes 198, crazy I know. While breastfeeding I got back down to 129. It had been forever since I saw that number! I was so happy and proud of myself. But now looking back I shouldn’t have been proud because I didn’t even try. Breastfeeding was the only calories I was burning. So now, after only two months has passed, I’m back up to 145. I can not believe I have gained so much so fast. But then again I’m not very active at all. Chasing after Charlotte, doing laundry and cleaning the house only burn so many calories. I need to get my diet together and try to find a way to bring exercise back into my life. I have been talking about joining the gym for a while now with my friends. But with John and I about to be down to one car again, that will make it tough. But I hope we will not be a one car family for long! So even if I have to go at night after he gets home from work and Char is in bed I am getting my butt to the gym. Today was a good start Sam and I walked around her neighborhood with the kids in their strollers. Sounds easy right? HA- Wrong…her neighborhood is all hills. But oh well it was good for us to get our fitness on.
I started drinking Skinny Mint Detox Tea yesterday! It is a 28 day detox in the form of a tea. I hope it will jump start my weight loss and keep me on track. With all the bad food I’ve been putting in my body over the years I think a detox is just the thing this girl needs. I will have a full review on the product after my 28 day detox is over.
So, I am going to leave you with a few promises I have made to myself:
Get out of the house more…
Stay on top of my depression and anxiety…
Drink Skinny Mint Detox Tea all 28 days
Join the gym