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shirt[express] similar here, here & here//jeans[american eagle] ///necklaces[express]//earrings[bebe] similar here & here//bracelet[express]//watch[target]//shoes[steve madden]//bag[michael kors] similar here//sunglasses[express]// lipstick color angel [mac]//photo credit [amy hess photography]
One of my biggest struggles in my life is indecision, caused by anxiety. I think, rethink and think again when dealing with anything and everything. I often do not feel the happiness I should because I have doubts or I wonder if what I DID decide is the right thing. I do this while shopping, figuring out how to parent Charlotte, or deciding what to make for dinner. Should I keep blogging, should I go back to work outside the home? What color should I color my hair? Absolutely all the things in life you can think of, I could go on forever. I have serious meltdowns if my clothes do not fit the way I want or if something I plan doesn’t go the way I want. It is exhausting for me and the people in my life.
Why am I am talking about this now? Because my indecision and anxiety have been at an all time high lately.
Things have been extra crazy around our house as of late. There is so much going on with trying to decide if we should stay in the Army or go back home to St. Louis. However, with that being said… lately the Army has been toying with our lives a little more than normal. I spoke briefly about this a few posts back. John has been trying to apply for a new job as a CID agent for a while now. In the Army, applying for another job is not like the real world. There is so much that goes into applying for jobs like this. It also takes forever since the Army moves so slowly with paperwork and approvals. It seems like at every turn there is a road block, something stopping us from getting to the next step. It is causing us, or mostly me, to question if the Army is the right place for our family to be. I am the type of person that If something bad or good keeps happening over and over, that it is a sign from somewhere telling you to either keep going or change course. My indecision about this is making it so hard to keep going and trying to make this life in the Army work. I wish I had a crystal ball to see the future. Where will our family be in the next few months? Will we be here in Georgia waiting fo John to leave for CID school? Will we be at another base with John doing the same job he is in now? Or will we be back home in St.Louis?
Being an Army wife is not easy to begin with. Not knowing where you are going to live from one year to the next. If your husband will deploy and be away for months. For someone with anxiety, it’s even harder. But as I have said before, there are perks to John being in the army as well. We do not worry about medical bills, or housing because all that is covered. Those things are huge! I mean, what other job pays for your housing? So, because of that, I deal with the things about this life that make me absolutely crazy. But I am not the type of person to be OK with not knowing what is going on in my day to day life. I CANNOT stand having someone decide my life for me. I also trust my gut feelings. I believe your first instinct about something is normally the right one. We have been going back and forth about this for so long that I have no idea how I originally felt and what drives my decisions now. Every time we think we have made up our minds, something else happens to make us question our decision. So, I hope in the next few weeks a final decision will be made and we can move on to this next chapter in our life.
Something that I wasn’t indecisive about was this outfit. I am livvving for this watercolor print on this shirt! I have been so into bright colors this spring/summer. Oh, and gold statement jewelry. I feel like I am always wearing these jeans from american eagle. They go with so many looks. Dressed up or down, I love them. These large teardrop earrings were a throw back from BEBE. I wore them to my bachelorette party. This outfit is so me…huge sun shades, high heels and statement jewelry. I will never be indecisive about those three things. Ever.
Are you indecisive? How do you make major life decisions?
Whitney says
I’m sorry to hear your troubles with the Army, I can’t imagine how tought that is and appreciate you and your husband’s sacrifice for our country. Those glasses are so precious, I’m jealous. I can’t pull off the aviator look 🙁